What You Should Know About a Donor Before Asking for Money

When it comes to major gift fundraising, we want to make sure we have done a healthy amount of preparation or “homework” before putting the number on the table. The most successful asks don’t usually happen by accident, but rather are the result of relationship-building and intentionality based on who we are speaking with.

You don’t need the 50-page dossier on someone before making your ask, but you do need to understand a little bit about the person behind the ask that you are making. Knowing a few key details helps ensure your solicitation feels personal, respectful, and appropriate. Here are some of the essentials you should know about a donor before you make the ask.

1. Their Relationship with Your Organization

Start by understanding how the donor connects to your mission. Have they given before? Volunteered? Attended events? Served on a committee or the board in the past? The length and nature of their relationship will shape both the tone and the size of your ask.

If they’re brand new to your organization, focus on building trust and connection first. If they’re a long-time supporter, acknowledge that loyalty and express genuine appreciation for their past engagement. Knowing where they stand helps you meet them where they are, not where your campaign happens to be.

2. Their Giving History and Patterns

Before asking, review what they’ve supported in the past both within your organization and elsewhere, if that information is available. Do they tend to give to healthcare, education, human services, the arts, or something else? Are their gifts typically tied to capital projects, scholarships, or specific programs?

Understanding their philanthropic preferences helps you align your ask with what already resonates. Frame your needs in ways that connect to what they care most about. If you’re not sure about this information, depending on your relationship you might be able to just ask them! Learn about what they have given to in the past as well as why.

3. What Aspects of Your Work Resonate with Them

Pay attention to what sparks their interest when they engage with your organization. Maybe they always ask about your clinic expansion, or light up when you talk about your youth mentorship program. Pay attention to these moments as well as communicating with them directly about their passion areas.

Donors give to what moves them emotionally, not necessarily to what you need most urgently. Knowing what parts of your mission make connect with them personally allows you to connect the dots between their passion and your priorities and tailor your ask to be as personalized as you can make it.

4. A Little About Them Personally

You don’t need to know every detail of a donor’s life, but a little personal context goes a long way. What’s their profession? Family situation? Community involvement? Hobbies?

Simple insights like whether they recently retired, have children in college, or are active in local organizations can influence timing, approach, and even the kind of recognition that feels meaningful.

5. Their Capacity and Comfort Level

While wealth screening tools and research can help you estimate capacity, what really matters is comfort level. Someone may have the means to make a six-figure gift but only feels comfortable giving $10,000 this year for whatever reason.

Use what you know about their financial background and past giving to guide your ask, but always pair it with relationship cues like enthusiasm level and verbal signals that they’re open to deeper engagement.The goal is to invite them to have impact in a way that feels rewarding and sustainable. They should give until it feels good, not until it hurts.

6. Who Should Make the Ask

One of the most overlooked and important pieces of prospect preparation is deciding who should actually make the ask. Donors respond best to people they know and trust. That might be your CEO, a board member, or someone who shares their interests or background. Identifying that connection in advance can make the difference between an awkward ask and a meaningful one.

Doing your homework allows you to perform an ask that feels less like a simple transaction. And that’s where meaningful, long-term relationships (and transformational gifts) begin.

Need help in learning how to properly ask donors for money? We’ve helped hundreds of nonprofits scale up their fundraising programs. Send us a message and we would love to learn more about your nonprofit!